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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Name
Names
Family
Kids
Anything
Pta
Assumed
Meetings

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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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