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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Kids
Anything
Pta
Assumed
Meetings
Name
Names
Family

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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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