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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Rust
Weapons
Peace
War
May
Toast
Toasts

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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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