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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Toast
Toasts
Rust
Weapons
Peace
War
May

More quotes by Robert Orben

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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
Robert Orben
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
Robert Orben
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
Robert Orben
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Robert Orben
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Robert Orben
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
Robert Orben
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Robert Orben
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
Robert Orben
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
Robert Orben