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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Carrier
Contagious
Happiness

More quotes by Robert Orben

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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
Robert Orben