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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Avenue
Avenues
Cookies
Crumbles
Eggs
Hong
May
Kong
Way
Cookie
Rolls
Madison

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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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