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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Avenues
Cookies
Crumbles
Eggs
Hong
May
Kong
Way
Cookie
Rolls
Madison
Avenue

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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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