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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Rolls
Madison
Avenue
Avenues
Cookies
Crumbles
Eggs
Hong
May
Kong
Way
Cookie

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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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