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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Happens
Ten
Today
Eight
Back
Spend
Come
Realize
Sinai
Trying
Realizing
Mount
Years
Happen
Moses
Would
Alive
Published
Next
Commandments

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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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