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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Back
Spend
Come
Realize
Sinai
Trying
Realizing
Mount
Years
Happen
Moses
Would
Alive
Published
Next
Commandments
Happens
Ten
Today
Eight

More quotes by Robert Orben

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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
Robert Orben