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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Years
Happen
Moses
Would
Alive
Published
Next
Commandments
Happens
Ten
Today
Eight
Back
Spend
Come
Realize
Sinai
Trying
Realizing
Mount

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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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