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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Realize
Sinai
Come
Realizing
Mount
Trying
Happen
Moses
Years
Alive
Published
Would
Next
Commandments
Happens
Ten
Today
Eight
Spend
Back

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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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