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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
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Parenthood
Children
Parenting
Way
Everywhere
Always
Funny
Kids

More quotes by Robert Orben

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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Robert Orben