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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Way
Everywhere
Always
Funny
Kids
Home
Back
Find
Take
Parenthood
Children
Parenting

More quotes by Robert Orben

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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Robert Orben
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Robert Orben
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben