Quote

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Robert Orben

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Back
Find
Take
Parenthood
Children
Parenting
Way
Everywhere
Always
Funny
Kids
Home

More quotes by Robert Orben

Image
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
Image
Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben
Image
Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben
Image
When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
Robert Orben
Image
Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
Robert Orben
Image
My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
Robert Orben
Image
Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Robert Orben
Image
They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
Robert Orben
Image
I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
Robert Orben
Image
Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
Robert Orben
Image
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben
Image
Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
Image
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben
Image
Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
Robert Orben
Image
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Robert Orben
Image
Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
Robert Orben
Image
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Robert Orben
Image
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Robert Orben
Image
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben
Image
All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
Robert Orben