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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
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Parenting
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Always
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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