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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Successful
Common
Found
Salesman
Someone
Shoulder
Cure
Cures
Shoulders
Cold

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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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