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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Cures
Shoulders
Cold
Successful
Common
Found
Salesman
Someone
Shoulder
Cure

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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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