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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben
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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
World
Carry
Problems
Two
Problem
Sinai
Today
Aspirin
Come
Tablets
Many
Mount
Would
Moses
More quotes by Robert Orben
They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
Robert Orben
We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Robert Orben
It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Robert Orben
All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Robert Orben
I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
Robert Orben