Quote

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Already
Onion
Food
Onions
Company
Culinary
Bigs
Vegetables
Understand
Developing
Given
Companies
Think
Cooking
Thinking
Bread
Tasteless

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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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