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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Food
Onions
Company
Culinary
Bigs
Vegetables
Understand
Developing
Given
Companies
Think
Cooking
Thinking
Bread
Tasteless
Already
Onion
More quotes by Robert Orben
We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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