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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Arrived
Birthday
Havens
Haven
Best
Birthdays

More quotes by Robert Orben

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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
Robert Orben