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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Birthdays
Arrived
Birthday
Havens
Haven
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More quotes by Robert Orben

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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Robert Orben
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
Robert Orben
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
Robert Orben
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
Robert Orben
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
Robert Orben
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
Robert Orben
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
Robert Orben
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
Robert Orben
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
Robert Orben
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Robert Orben
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
Robert Orben
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
Robert Orben
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Robert Orben
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Individuality' is the key to success.
Robert Orben
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Robert Orben