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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Motors
Bust
Invested
Motor
Luck
General
Ever
Corporal

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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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