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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Corporal
Motors
Bust
Invested
Motor
Luck
General
Ever

More quotes by Robert Orben

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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Robert Orben