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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Corporal
Motors
Bust
Invested
Motor
Luck
General
Ever

More quotes by Robert Orben

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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
Robert Orben