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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Good
Miss
Warm
Politician
Missing
Seen
Guy
Chance
Opportunity
Witty

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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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