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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Robert Orben
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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Bigs
Desk
Desks
Small
Happiness
More quotes by Robert Orben
Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
Robert Orben
Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben
Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
Robert Orben
The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Robert Orben
Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
Robert Orben
My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
Robert Orben
To exercise is human not to is divine.
Robert Orben
Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
Robert Orben
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
Robert Orben
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Robert Orben
Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
Robert Orben
Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
Robert Orben
With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
Robert Orben
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Robert Orben
Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
Robert Orben
Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
Robert Orben
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Robert Orben
All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
Robert Orben