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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Modern
Thirds
Situation
Crisis
Choices
Laugh
Prehistoric
Fighting
Offers
Flee
Times
Mankind
Alternative
Often
Laughing
Alternatives
Two
Humor
Situations
Fight
Third

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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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