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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Situation
Crisis
Choices
Laugh
Prehistoric
Fighting
Offers
Flee
Times
Mankind
Alternative
Often
Laughing
Alternatives
Two
Humor
Situations
Fight
Third
Modern
Thirds

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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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