Quote

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Part
Best
Valentine
Take
Card
Heart
Cards
Like
Keeping
Lips
Arms
Girl

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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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