Quote

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Take
Card
Heart
Cards
Like
Keeping
Lips
Arms
Girl
Part
Best
Valentine

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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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