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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Health
Worry
Funny
Away
Fitness
Worrying
Quit
Quitting
Worried

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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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