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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Savings
Inflation
Saving
Investment

More quotes by Robert Orben

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President Ford used humor a great deal.
Robert Orben
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
Robert Orben
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
Robert Orben
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
Robert Orben
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Robert Orben
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Robert Orben
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
Robert Orben
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
Robert Orben
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
Robert Orben
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
Robert Orben
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Robert Orben
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
Robert Orben
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
Robert Orben
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben