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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Investment
Savings
Inflation
Saving

More quotes by Robert Orben

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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Robert Orben
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
Robert Orben
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Robert Orben
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
Robert Orben
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
Robert Orben
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Robert Orben
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
Robert Orben
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
Robert Orben
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
Robert Orben
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
Robert Orben
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
Robert Orben
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
Robert Orben