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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Parenting
Favor
Favors
Funny
Kids
Children

More quotes by Robert Orben

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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
Robert Orben
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Robert Orben
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
Robert Orben
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
Robert Orben
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
Robert Orben
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
Robert Orben
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
Robert Orben
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
Robert Orben
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
Robert Orben
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
Robert Orben
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
Robert Orben
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
Robert Orben
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
Robert Orben
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
Robert Orben
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Robert Orben