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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Delivered
Temptation
Touch
Motivational
Keep
Would
Like
People

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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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