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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Motivational
Keep
Would
Like
People
Delivered
Temptation
Touch

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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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