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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Touch
Motivational
Keep
Would
Like
People
Delivered
Temptation

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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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