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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Taxes
Place
Government
Way
Politicians
Washington
Politician

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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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