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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Way
Politicians
Washington
Politician
Taxes
Place
Government

More quotes by Robert Orben

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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben