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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Way
Politicians
Washington
Politician
Taxes
Place
Government

More quotes by Robert Orben

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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben