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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Way
Politicians
Washington
Politician
Taxes
Place
Government

More quotes by Robert Orben

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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Robert Orben
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
Robert Orben
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
Robert Orben
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
Robert Orben
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
Robert Orben
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
Robert Orben
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
Robert Orben
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
Robert Orben
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
Robert Orben
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
Robert Orben
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
Robert Orben
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
Robert Orben