Quote

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Robert Orben

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Politician
Taxes
Place
Government
Way
Politicians
Washington

More quotes by Robert Orben

Image
If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
Image
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben
Image
Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben
Image
Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
Robert Orben
Image
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Robert Orben
Image
They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
Robert Orben
Image
I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
Image
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
Image
Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
Image
Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
Robert Orben
Image
Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
Image
It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
Robert Orben
Image
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben
Image
Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben
Image
If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
Robert Orben
Image
Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
Robert Orben
Image
I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
Robert Orben
Image
THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben
Image
Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
Robert Orben
Image
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben