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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Politician
Taxes
Place
Government
Way
Politicians
Washington

More quotes by Robert Orben

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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
Robert Orben
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
Robert Orben
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
Robert Orben
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
Robert Orben
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
Robert Orben
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
Robert Orben
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
Robert Orben
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
Robert Orben
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
Robert Orben