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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Price
Democracy
History
Luxuries
True
Necessities
Firsts
Inflation
First
Bringing
Time
Luxury
Selling

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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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