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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Loser
Sunset
Humor
Takes
Days
Funny
Keep
Losers
Work

More quotes by Robert Orben

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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben