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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Sometimes
Smaller
World
Countries
Deep
Feeling
Feelings
True
Whole
Country
Neutral

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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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