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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Feeling
Feelings
True
Whole
Country
Neutral
Sometimes
Smaller
World
Countries
Deep

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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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