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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Life
Majors
Major
Credit
Society
Rather
Family
Simpler
Father
Honored
Mother
Cards

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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
Robert Orben