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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Major
Credit
Society
Rather
Family
Simpler
Father
Honored
Mother
Cards
Life
Majors

More quotes by Robert Orben

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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Robert Orben