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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Rather
Family
Simpler
Father
Honored
Mother
Cards
Life
Majors
Major
Credit
Society

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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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