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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Life
Majors
Major
Credit
Society
Rather
Family
Simpler
Father
Honored
Mother
Cards

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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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