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It's a safe bet that someone who tells you you need to calm down has never actually seen you when you needed to calm down.

Robert Breault

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Robert Breault
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More quotes by Robert Breault

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A paranoid thinks that sinister forces are out to get him, not realizing that they are out to get everybody.
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Always telling the truth is no doubt better than always lying, although equally pathological.
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Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?
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On the sixth day, God created the artist, realizing no doubt that He had far from exhausted the uses of color.
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When it seems that something can't be done, start it, and see if the rest of it can be done.
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It’s my luck that every time I feel I completely comprehend God’s plan, I don’t have a pencil with me.
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Stored away in some brain cell is the image of a long-departed aunt you haven't thought of in 30 years. Stored away in another cell is the image of a pink pony stitched on your first set of baby pajamas. All it takes to get that aunt mounted on the back of that pony is to eat a hunk of meatloaf immediately before going to bed.
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Dancing is moving to the music without stepping on anyone's toes, pretty much the same as life.
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Nothing reduces the odds against you like ignoring them.
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The people in your life who don't need an invitation still like to get one.
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To the student I would say, Life is principally multiple choice, but at the end there's a tough essay question.
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A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or two we don't even have.
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I nod to a passing stranger, and the stranger nods back, and two human beings go off, feeling a little less anonymous.
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You never have a friend all figured out. Just when you think you know what makes them tick, they tock.
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If you can't forgive and forget, pick one.
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I am never five minutes into stripping the clutter from my life before I start running into the clutter that is my life.
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Usually the woman has an appointment with destiny, and the man just happens to be there.
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Usually, when you can't overcome the obstacles in your path, it's not your path.
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There are couples a matchmaker would match every time - and couples who, for no rhyme or reason, rhyme.
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I don't lie and cheat, but I don't always avoid actions that would be lying and cheating if someone else did them.
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