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There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Travel
Ways
Class
Two
Firsts
First
Children
Way

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If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.
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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
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There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
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A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.
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I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
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Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
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Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.
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But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.
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It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.
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Work is a form of nervousness.
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A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
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You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
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