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There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.
Robert Benchley
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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Way
Travel
Ways
Class
Two
Firsts
First
Children
More quotes by Robert Benchley
The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.
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All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
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A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
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Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.
Robert Benchley
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.
Robert Benchley
We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
Robert Benchley
Streets flooded. Please advise.
Robert Benchley
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
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There seems to be a common strain of miserliness in the American people when it comes to throwing away toothpaste tubes which havea little left in the bottom.
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Streets full of water. Please Advise.
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In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
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If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert Benchley
Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.
Robert Benchley
There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
Robert Benchley
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Robert Benchley