Quote

One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.

Robert Benchley

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Space
Less
Funny
Cubic
Would
Constituted
Adultery
Foot
Humor
Feet

More quotes by Robert Benchley

Image
The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert Benchley
Image
I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that the Younger Generation is up to something.... I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason.
Robert Benchley
Image
The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.
Robert Benchley
Image
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.
Robert Benchley
Image
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
Robert Benchley
Image
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Robert Benchley
Image
We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
Robert Benchley
Image
A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.
Robert Benchley
Image
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Robert Benchley
Image
Who has not wished that his host would come out frankly at the beginning of the visit and state, in no uncertain terms, the rulesand preferences of the household in such matters as the breakfast hour? And who has not sounded out his guest to find out what he likes in the regulation of his diet and modus vivendi (mode of living)?
Robert Benchley
Image
You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
Robert Benchley
Image
There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
Robert Benchley
Image
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
Image
In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.
Robert Benchley
Image
An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
Robert Benchley
Image
All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
Robert Benchley
Image
I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
Robert Benchley
Image
Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
Robert Benchley
Image
But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.
Robert Benchley
Image
If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
Robert Benchley