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One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Would
Constituted
Adultery
Foot
Humor
Feet
Space
Less
Funny
Cubic

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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
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The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
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Work is a form of nervousness.
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All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
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There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.
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If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.
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Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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She sleeps alone at last.
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
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The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
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There seems to be a common strain of miserliness in the American people when it comes to throwing away toothpaste tubes which havea little left in the bottom.
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We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
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We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
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There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
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