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Streets full of water. Please Advise.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Advise
Streets
Please
Humor
Full
Water
Funny

More quotes by Robert Benchley

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There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
Robert Benchley
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
Robert Benchley
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Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P.M., when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.
Robert Benchley
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Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
Robert Benchley
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If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
Robert Benchley
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A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
Robert Benchley
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Work is a form of nervousness.
Robert Benchley
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Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
Robert Benchley
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Who has not wished that his host would come out frankly at the beginning of the visit and state, in no uncertain terms, the rulesand preferences of the household in such matters as the breakfast hour? And who has not sounded out his guest to find out what he likes in the regulation of his diet and modus vivendi (mode of living)?
Robert Benchley
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands.
Robert Benchley
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You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
Robert Benchley
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The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.
Robert Benchley
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Streets flooded. Please advise.
Robert Benchley
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I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new school was taking up Silas Marner, with the result that it was the only book in the English language that I knew until I was eighteen--but, boy, did I know Silas Marner!
Robert Benchley
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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
Robert Benchley
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My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
Robert Benchley
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But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.
Robert Benchley
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One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.
Robert Benchley
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It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
Robert Benchley
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley