Quote

Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Actors
Bridge
Social
Bridges
Next
Monsters
Possibly
Equal
Party
Buzz
Acting
Fashioned
Church
Monster

More quotes by Robert Benchley

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A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
Robert Benchley
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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
Robert Benchley
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
Robert Benchley
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We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
Robert Benchley
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Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer.
Robert Benchley
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All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
Robert Benchley
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Streets full of water. Please Advise.
Robert Benchley
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
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If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.
Robert Benchley
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If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
Robert Benchley
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Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Robert Benchley
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I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed to return. They say, Please fill out and return the enclosed envelope, and the enclosed envelope is always one-quarter of an inch too small.
Robert Benchley
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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
Robert Benchley
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There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
Robert Benchley
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Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
Robert Benchley
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You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
Robert Benchley
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In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
Robert Benchley
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I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.
Robert Benchley
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
Robert Benchley
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My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
Robert Benchley