Quote

A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Made
Child
Subject
Remove
Five
Childhood
Psychological
Seminar
Three
Eating
Raise
Chubby
Hands
Subjects
Welfare
Seminars
Cannot
Hundred
Mouth
Fist
Reason
Along
Raises
Fists
Without
Pieces
Mouths
Carpet
Children
Written
Piece
Experts

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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
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In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
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In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.
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One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
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Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
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Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
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I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new school was taking up Silas Marner, with the result that it was the only book in the English language that I knew until I was eighteen--but, boy, did I know Silas Marner!
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If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.
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Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
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We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
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I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
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You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
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She sleeps alone at last.
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We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
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It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
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